Monday, November 9, 2009

Netiquette for Listservs

I have been working for years to help establish a set of listservs for the volunteers who pay my salary. Eventually we may have 21. Today we launched the first of three scheduled to go up this year.

If you ever need to start a listserv, here's a "Netiquette Guide" I put together by borrowing from other sources. (The sources are acknowledged at the bottom).

After the "Netiquette Guide" is an e-mail I got from a volunteer I'm fond of. It was just the tonic I needed after a day of wrestling with unexpected technical issues.

Netiquette Guide
To ensure that your listserv is a useful, hassle-free service, it’s a good idea for you to familiarize yourself with the Terms and Conditions of use that you agreed to when you signed up to participate in the listserv. It contains the governing rules.

However, many other institutions have developed informal guidance on the etiquette of listserv participation. (The neologism “netiquette” has come to be used to describe this kind of guidance.)

What follows draws from their work. At the end of this document you will find links to that work. They contain additional helpful suggestions.

  1. Please do not forward jokes or any other message that you received from someone else unless you have that person’s explicit permission. Once you send it to the list, you cannot control where else it will wind up. If you would not send it out on your own letterhead, please do not forward it to the list.
  2. Please do not send anything to the list that you do not want seen in public. (See #1).

  3. Do not quote your fees on a listserv. Price-fixing is an anti-competitive practice, an antitrust violation, unethical, and a very bad idea. Don’t go there.
  4. Commercial messages are not permitted, nor are attachments. If you want to send someone an attached file, please do it in a private e-mail message, not by sending it to the list.
  5. Please do not send copyrighted material unless you own the copyright or have explicit permission from the author to do so. Instead, write a short description about the item and post the URL or Web address of where the copyrighted material can be found.
  6. Please do not offer to sell or copy software illegally. Software is covered by strict licensing agreements.
  7. When you participate in a listserv, it is not always necessary to send a reply to the entire list. Please be careful when hitting the reply button, especially if you do NOT want your reply to be read by the entire list. It is often wiser to respond by e-mail, directly to the initial poster.
  8. When you respond to a message, please edit your reply to quote only enough of the initial message to place your comment into context. You can cut out the parts that aren't necessary, put your reply in the message body, and indicate the omissions with ellipses.

    Here’s the model:

    Original posting --- Subject: Judge-shopping
    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and wonder if anyone out there has any advice or ideas. The prosecutors seem to get notice of who’s sitting in which courtroom on which days. I can’t seem to get the same information from the Court, and our prosecutor friends seem to guard the information quite zealously, albeit courteously. Does anyone know how they get information about who’s sitting where, or how defense lawyers can get it, too, so we’re all on a “level playing field.”
    Bobby Pinn
    B.Pinn@lawsRus.com

    Response --- Subject: Judge-shopping – REPLY
    "…Does anyone know how they get information about who’s sitting where, or how defense lawyers can get it, too…."

    The deputies at the clerk's office have the information. In my experience, they will provide it to anyone who asks.
    Scott Free
    ScottyF@discountlaw.com

  9. Please do not send a reply that just says "Me, too" or some equivalent response. Too many listservs are clogged by hundreds of "Me, too’s.” Listservs die if participants unsubscribe because their in-boxes are getting clogged with too many unnecessary or repetitive responses.

  10. If you are replying to a post, it is very helpful to put the word “Reply” on the subject line.
  11. Please do not send messages without something on the subject line.
  12. Please proofread your messages. Look for spelling and grammar errors. Your posting will be read by many of your peers.

  13. Please do not use all capital letters. On the Internet, this is considered to be SHOUTING!
  14. Please review the tone of your message. Ask yourself what your reaction would be if you received it. Look for any areas that might be misunderstood and rewrite these sentences to remove any ambiguity. If you are asking a question, please be sure to include enough details about the problem to permit useful responses. Try to keep your messages terse and to the point. Remember, your peers are as busy as you are. Large blocks of text can discourage recipients from reading your message, at all.
  15. Please do not “flame” people on the listserv. Flaming means insulting people. Again, if you wouldn’t put it on your letterhead, don’t put it on the list.
  16. Please don't be excessively critical of people's queries posted to the listserv. Many people are new to listservs. If their error is one of etiquette, you could send them a private message and gently make suggestions you think warranted.
  17. If, in your view, a posting is a clear-cut violation of the Terms and Conditions all participants have agreed to, please contact your list’s volunteer listserv coordinator(s). In consultation with the professional staff, the offending participant will be notified formally of his or her breach and of what consequences can follow, including suspension from the list for a period of time or, in the most egregious cases, termination of the participant’s inclusion on the list.
  18. Please watch the subject carefully. If a subject starts to go off the topic, those replying should indicate that on the subject line. This will allow recipients to delete off-topic messages.

    Here’s the model: “Subject: Expert Witness – Off Topic”.

    This indicates that the subject matter is no longer Expert Witnesses.

    A better practice, if your response is off-topic, is to start a brand new discussion thread.

  19. Keep messages short and to the point. If you are going to post a long reply, please indicate that on the subject line.

    Here’s the model: “Subject: Expert Witnesses - Long Reply."
  20. Your signature should be at the bottom of all your e-mails and your signature should be short. It should never be more than six to eight lines long.
This Netiquette Guide draws on the following sources:


http://www.aztcs.org/activities/listservtips.shtml

http://www.iatul.org/discussion/listservetiquette.asp

http://www.msba.org/departments/loma/articles/officemngmt/netiquette.htm

Acknowledgment and thanks are owed to:

The International Association of Technological University Libraries,
The Maryland State Bar Association, and
The Tucson Computer Society,

for posting their netiquette documents on the web.
__________
And here's a truly awesome response:

I have this really funny jke that Im going to forward to you. ITS BEEN GOING AROUND THE INTERNET AND ITS HILARIOUS. Its about Judge Smith, on the Superior Court, and this incredibly stupid thing he did with his girlfriend and wht happened after his wife found out. Geez, he's such an idiot! Seriously, I dont' think he's ever done a single smart thing in his life. What the fuck is wrong with him? Anyway, he called me, looking for lrgal advice, but when I told him I bill $375 per hour, he hung up on me. (By the way, if you ever need a good lawyer, call me.) And I'm bummed he didn't hire me, because handling his case would've been so easy. I was just going to use a copy of a settlement agreement that a lawyer used in another case of mine. It is a copyrighted agreement, but that other lawyer won't find out about it anyway. I just think its stupid to pay for things unnecessarily, ya know? (By the way, if you want a copy of the disk that the agreement is on, just let me kniw.)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

But What's Their Excuse?

These are excerpted from a paper on challenges facing our schools. Unbelievable!*

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32 and also 33.

Please excuse gloria from jim today. she is administrating.

Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. he was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.-- Please excuse ray friday from school. he has very loose vowels.

Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. he had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the shits. [words in ( )'s were crossed out].

please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. he had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse jimmy for being. it was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. we have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. she spent a weekend with the marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. he had a cold and could not breed ell.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. she was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gang over.

Please excuse Brenda. she has been sick and under the doctor.

MaryAnn was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. i wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

*I meant that. These are unbelievable. I'm confident this is a hoax. But funny.

Demotivational Posters

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I Hear People Can Get Addicted to This Internet Thing


Friday, October 30, 2009

Funny Pumpkin Pictures II

My new friend Tina posted these on Facebook. They're awesome.







Click here for additional Funny Pumpkin Pictures. They're from an old post that's proven popular.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hey Jude, You Need a Flow Chart

A funny from the newest member of my blog-fodder joke-forwarding network.

Thanks to Wendy, who makes working in Dilbert-land almost bearable.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Lesson in a Pair of Pants

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat.....

He said "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'

"So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.'

"I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

"Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm, "said Jack. He thought that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack took off his pants and said to Jill, "Here try these on."

So she did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit me."

Jack said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Jill took off her pants and handed them to Jack and said, "Here, you try on mine."

So he did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

Jill said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your attitude, you never will."*

*As always, thanks Michel

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is It Time to Start Wearing Paper Bags Over Our Heads Yet?

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Redskins and Robert Schuller have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen

Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Bayard Rustin and the 2009 March on Washington

My friend Joyce came down from NYC on a bus sponsored by Audra McDonald for the big civil rights march yesterday. We met up amidst 300,000 of our closest friends and had a wonderful time.

Bayard Rustin is one of my personal heroes. He organized the 1963 March on Washington where Dr. King made his "I Have a Dream" speech. He was the principal aide to labor and civil rights pioneer A. Phillip Randolph. He was 20th-century America's foremost strategist, practitioner and teacher of non-violent civil disobedience. That's not my assessment. It was Gandhi's.

Yes, that Gandhi.

It's why Gandhi invited Rustin to study in India after WWII.

Anyway, if you've never heard of Rustin, you're missing a key piece of the history of the 20th century. John D'Emilio's biography, Lost Prophet: The Life and Times of Bayard Rustin, is well worth giving a read.

Part of why you don't know about Rustin is that he was gay. So he lived in the shadows of peace movements, civil rights campaigns and coordinated acts of non-violent resistance that could not have happened without him.

I was tickled appropriately pink to hear his name and spirit invoked often and with due reverence yesterday.


One thing I love to do at political protests is read the signs. The two best I saw were:

A) A body-length placard worn by a thoroughly suburban looking teenager which read "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE STILL HAVE TO PROTEST ABOUT THIS SHIT", and

B) The one I've plucked from twitpics, below:



Joyce and I saw these folks on the Capitol grounds.

It's irreverent, perhaps even to the point of blasphemy for some, but I have no dog in that fight.

JESUS HAD 2 DADS
AND HE
Turned
OUT OK

Effing brilliant. You go, church ladies!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Because Ye Were Strangers in the Land of Egypt...

I got an appeal for contributions this morning, to help people walloped by Typhoon Ketsana and the Pacific Earthquakes.

Rabbi Marla J. Feldman, Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) Director of Development wrote:

As you've seen in the news, at the end of September, Typhoon Ketsana struck the Philippines, Vietnam and Cambodia, causing hundreds of deaths and displacing thousands of families.

A few days later, powerful earthquakes struck the Pacific near American Samoa, triggering three separate tsunami waves, killing over a thousand people, many in the West Sumatran capital of Padang. Subsequent storms killed hundreds of people in the Philippines and millions have been displaced from their homes due to flooding.

Numerous organizations are providing life-saving aid in these areas. For a list of some of the organizations that are accepting donations for this effort go to www.urj.org/relief.

Rabbi Marla J. Feldman
Director of Development
Union for Reform Judaism

To which I'll add only this:

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But, if I am for myself alone, then what am I?
And if not now, when?
Hillel
Jewish Sage
(circa 110 BCE - 10 CE)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Mental Health

This post got me to thinking. After I read it, I commented, and then realized that, with some editing, I had my first October blog post:

I've written before about my own stuggles with chronic depression. I am absolutely confident I'd be dead without chemical intervention.

Both my father and my paternal grandmother were suicides, so pshrinks drool like a kennel full of Pavlov's dogs when they hear my family history. The meds put a floor under how sad I can get. I might be miserable, but I don't tip over into suicidal. And when not in the grip of an acute episode, I'm capable of as much joy as any other average twit.

Beyond meds and talk therapy, a couple of other things help.

(A) One is remembering the First Rule of Holes: If you find yourself in one --- STOP DIGGING. Because it's hard to apply the judgment this rule relies on when you're depressed, loving, honest feedback from family and a competent therapist are critical.

(B) Another is the old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb. (Just one, but the liightbulb has to want to change.) Again, lovingkindness from those around you is sometimes the only motivation you have left for changing, because the depression obscures your ability to see that change is even possible.

Ultimately, I had to decide for myself to find the help I needed. That entailed, among other things, accepting the idea that depression is an illness, not a character flaw. Crucial to my finally accepting that idea was the encouragement of friends and family.

Withdrawal is a symptom of depression. If someone you love, or even just like, is withdrawing and spiraling downward, reach out to them. There's no guarantee you'll be the right person at the right time, but you might be.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Bibi's Not Usually My Cup of Tea ...

but this definitive denunciation of Holocaust denial and defense of Israel made me proud of him.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Redneck Fire Detector

Forwarders make my day.

Jeff Foxworthy was doing this particular gag more than a decade ago, as a zinger.

It works just as well as a sight gag:


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hit Count

This time of year, the hit count on my blog goes way up, with people looking for funny pumpkin pictures, funny turkey pictures, and funny Santa pictures.

I noted this on my Facebook page recently. (By the way, if any of you have not yet friended me on FB, especially if you will join my Mafia Wars gang, what in blazes are you waiting for? We have thugs to whack!)

A good friend saw my FB post and sent this picture along. Her daughter is a published oncology expert who also finds time to make birthday cupcake burgers for vegetarian friends:




Bravo, friend's daughter!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Her Secret Garden

This is truly an amazing x-rated illusion - make sure that the kids are all tucked up in bed before watching!

Okay, watch this lady magician....where does she hide it ??? This is filmed in a Montreal Theater, and is a magic show that you won't see on American TV!

Amazing Kreskin, Houdini , Blaine, Copperfield,................. get out of town!!!

You'll probably have to watch this more than once.*

*Thanks, Michel